♥ SHARON

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Somebody once told me that, “By growing a year older, you are a year wiser.”

This somewhat of a quote had justified itself in the encounters we went through throughout our life journey.

By turning a year older, I ought to think further and made plans for the future.
By turning a year older, I ought to be a filial and obedient daughter and never let my parents worry anymore.
By turning a year older, I ought to study even more wisely and accomplish my goals as promised.
By turning a year older, I ought to lead a more fulfilling and enriching life happily.
By turning a year older, I ought to work harder to ‘search’ for my Mr. Right.

Happy Nineteenth Birthday, Hui Ying!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Today marks the 100th day death anniversary of my maternal grandmother. We went to pay our respects early in the morning.
时间过得真快，一转眼，外婆已去世100天了。有时候，我还真不敢相信眼前的就是事实。也许我还需要时间去适应the changes. 不管做什么事时，偶尔会想起外婆，想着对她的思念。

The demise of my grandmother 让我领悟了许多人生道理。人生是短暂的。我们应该学会欣赏在生命旅途中所路过的美景，学会珍惜身旁所爱与我们爱的人。重的来说，不要等到失去了才懂得珍惜！虽然我很想念外婆，但我会把那一丝思念放在心里的一个角落，努力念书，不让大家失望。

亲爱的外婆，我们永远爱你!

Thursday, June 04, 2009

I could not remember exactly how long we had stopped playing a part in each of our lives. A four year friendship simply dissipates in a minor dispute. It would be a lie if I do not hold any regrets for what had happened.

We were truly best friends back then in secondary school days. We shared our woes, doubled our happiness; laughed and cried with each other. I was grateful to have known such a superb buddy, thankful that our pathways were actually meant to intersect in life. We chose the same diploma and polytechnic. I even ‘fought’ to be the same class as my best friend. We were just like twins, always sticking to each other. It was not when complications start to sets in; when each of us got attached. Due to some issues, she was always sandwiched between her best friend and beloved boyfriend.

One fateful day, it just snapped, like a rubber band. War was declared. People stopped talking to each other. Friends became enemies. Hatred grew to be the concern.

How could I have allowed that to happen? How could I have been so impulsive? How could I have not put myself into her shoes? How could I be such an unreasonable friend? How could I have been such a petty and immature young adult? Even then, nothing could be done to change the fact that we are no longer friends. Initially, I was convinced that friends come and go throughout our lives; parting scenes are absolutely normal and unsurprising. However, when I encountered hurdles in life, I thought of her. She was the only girl friend who knows and understands me well enough; the only one who would motivate me to stand up on my feet back again.

***
I woke up to my senses when I lost my beloved grandmother to pneumonia. That is when I finally understood the fragility of life, the importance of our family and friends. I began to look back and did some evaluation with regards to my life. Being stained with bits of pain, scraps of hatred and patches of regrets, I saw myself wasting my beautiful life away by burying myself in abhorrence and misery. It is time to let go, I suppose.

***

If I could travel back to the past, I would never allow our friendship to have any ending. I would want to carry on narrating our fulfilling and beautiful life stories. I would want to share with my children and grandchildren that, I had such a splendid friend in my life.

If you are reading this, this is for you:

My friend, I am truly sorry for being ignorant and not being sensitive to your feelings. I am sorry for the hurtful and mean words that I had said in the past.

Anyway, I have heard about your updates lately. I hope you will be strong and overcome this challenge courageously. =)

Thursday, April 16, 2009

SEG Orientation 2009 had finally come to an end. It was a physically-draining yet fun-filled event. That explains my presence as an OGL (Orientation Group Leader) for the orientation that was held each year. I personally feel that this is a very good experience for me as I get to interact with more people through this event as well, which somewhat widen my social circle.

As for my freshmen class, I can say that they are mischievous yet obedient. Though they are reluctant to play some of the games, they still listened to us dutifully with our motivation. Throughout the games, I could see that they work together as one. Their team-spirit was commendable and it truly warmth my heart. Because it had proven that my partner and I had done a great job! =)

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

林峰 & 泳儿 - 明天以后

泳:在你的记忆里面有一个我
在你最痛苦的时候陪你度过
难过过了天晴朗了我就走

林: 你拯救我的寂寞我的痛我的梦
在你的面前我不必保留
还来不及对你说
迟到的我的心动

泳:你的好你的坏
林: 我的脾气你最懂
泳:我不要你心疼我(林: 我不要你离开我)
合:明天的以后我们会懂
失恋的挫折让人变更成熟

泳:我对你感觉胜过爱情
林: 因为有你给我勇气给我用不完的运气
林: 其实也想好好爱你
泳:只怕到最后不小心让你伤心 (林: 我不怕会伤心)
合: 对不起我对你再好再亲密都不能在一起
林: 最后看你在别人怀里
泳:有天我会找到我的唯一(林: 我并不是你的唯一)
合: 还微笑祝福你

林: 你拯救我的寂寞我的痛我的梦
在你的面前我不必保留
泳:我从来没对你说
压抑的我的心动

林: 我的好我的坏我的脾气你最懂
泳:我不要你来心疼我
合:明天的以后我们会懂
失恋的挫折让人变更成熟

泳:我对你感觉胜过爱情
林: 因为有你给我勇气给我用不完的运气
林: 其实也想好好爱你
泳:只怕到最后不小心让你伤心 (林: 我不怕会伤心)
合: 对不起我对你再好再亲密都不能在一起
林: 最后看你在别人怀里
泳:有天我会找到我的唯一(林: 我并不是你的唯一)
合: 还微笑祝福你

泳:爱情总让人折磨
林: 所以我们才选择
合: 做比情人更好的朋友

泳:我对你感觉胜过爱情
林: 因为有你给我勇气给我用不完的运气
林: 其实也想好好爱你
泳:只怕到最后不小心让你伤心 (林: 我不怕会伤心)
合: 对不起我对你再好再亲密都不能在一起
林: 最后看你在别人怀里
泳:有天我会找到我的唯一(林: 我并不是你的唯一)
合: 还微笑祝福你

Saturday, April 04, 2009

A picture speaks a thousand words. Let them relate my day to you. :D

One word to sum it up : SPLENDID!

Friday, April 03, 2009

Sometimes When We Touch - Olivia Ong

You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
On what you say or do?
I'm only just beginning to see the real you

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Till we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

Romance and all its strategy
Leaves me battling with my pride
But through the insecurity
Some tenderness survives
I'm just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
Still trapped within my youth

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Till we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

At times I'd like to break you
And drive you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through
And hold you endlessly

At times I understand you
And I know how hard you've tried
I've watched while love commands you
And I've watched love pass you by

At times I think we're drifters
Still searching for a friend
A brother or a sister
But then the passion flares again

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Till we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

Friday, March 27, 2009

In an article, “True love: Let’s calculate the odds”, which appeared in this section of the paper on Oct 6, Mr. Michael Kaplan writes of the rarity of true love. Statistically, we may find true love only once in a lifetime, or not at all. Reading on, one realizes he means, by his reference to “true love”, romantic love.

If the only true love one can find in one’s lifetime is romantic love, this does not bode well for people who are single, or the numerous young persons of marriageable age that I interact with in my job, many of whom earnestly seek to find the love of their lives.

While romantic love is what most of us gravitate towards, the happy secret is that true love may be found in other than what the ancient Greeks called eros or romantic love. Eros has been contrasted with three other types of love: philia (friendship), storage (parental love) and agape (God’s unconditional love as understood in Christian thought, or what St Augustine referred to as caritas or charity).

The sad truth, however, is that unfailing or true love of any sort between humans is a rarity in a postmodern world preoccupied with the self, where we are congenitally given to our little goals of making ourselves feel good, and flee at the first sight of trouble in our relationships.

Indeed, our unconscious emphasis on romantic love –seeing how the word “love” has been hijacked for this alone – sometimes belies self-centeredness and the preference for safe investments in that one person who would give love back to us, and who would hopefully prioritize us just as we prioritize him or her.

True, most of us profess that we do not think that romance is all we need. To match our romantic comedies, Hollywood has produced occasional friendship hits such as Stand By Me, Beaches, Fried Green Tomatoes and Simon Birch. But our actions and thought patterns reveal the contrary. Finding one who believes in true friendship tends to be even harder than finding one who believes in true romantic love.

As C.S Lewis once noted: “Very few modern people think friendship a love of comparable value or even a love at all… To the Ancients, friendship seemed the happiest and most fully human of all loves; the crown of life and the school of virtue. The modern world, in comparison, ignores it. We admit, of course that besides a wife and family a man needs a few friends.

“But the very tone of the admission, and the sort of acquaintanceships which those who make it would describe as ‘friendships’, show clearly that what they are talking about has very little to do with that Philia which Aristotle classified among the virtues or that Amicitia on which Cicero wrote a book. It is something quite marginal; not a main course in life banquet; a diversion; something that fills up the chinks of one’s time.

Our downplaying of friendship in adult life is somewhat sad when, from our childhood days, we have had a tendency to veer towards a best friend. Most come to expect less of friends after disappointments and the experience of wanting friendships as people go through different phases of life.

The lack of expectations is not necessarily healthy because it may express a lack of confidence and an unwillingness to commit, in the same way we do not expect anything of an animal in the zoo.

Still, most of us would not have any difficulty describing what we think ideal friendship consists of: Friendship involves free choice and particular persons; it involves reciprocity; the parties participate in it as an end in itself; it involves a commitment into the future; it involves a predominance of reactive rather than detached attitudes.

Of course, there exists friendship of varying intensities: Kants speaks of ideal friendship of disposition, in contrast to those of need or taste; Aristotle speaks of true friendship of character, in contrast to friendship of pleasure or utility. We do not share our deepest secrets with our business associates; we may eat a satisfying burger with an acquaintance, but it is with our best friend that we think of sharing with great relish the description of our discovery of something mundane like delicious food.

That we de-emphasize friendship in adulthood should be a matter of regret, as friendship is potentially a rich relationship in which we experience true love.

In the West, there has long been two prevailing schools of thought about the value of friendship. The first was that friendship met one’s needs for human association and support while the second was that friendship was a school of virtue in which one rises above instinctive self-interest and trains one’s character.

Perhaps neither view is complete. It is loathsome to treat another person solely as the means to satisfy one’s needs, as the friend becomes fungible like wads of cash: one wad is no different from the next; a friend becomes replaceable by another who can meet the same needs.

Nor can another human simply be someone on whom we practice goodness for our own sake, as our focus turns inward to becoming good persons, when perhaps we do the infinite value of our friend justice only when compelled outward, relationally, by the other-directedness of love.

If it is true that love requires self-giving, putting others above one’s self and even laying down one’s life for others, it is unsurprising that we who count interest first in a postmodern world run into immense difficulties giving true love to another human being. As one of my friends wrote even of her best friendship, she has seen “how inadequate Man’s love is, how small our means. Still, as the writer of Sirach, a book of the Apocrypha, wrote: “A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter; whoever finds one finds a treasure”

At the end of the day, statistics aside, we cannot deny that our selfishness is one hindrance to finding true love. We may have all the opportunities in the world to know another person, but until we learn to prefer another, our budding relations will never fulfill their potential. May we remember Emerson’s words, that to form friendship, one must be a friend. To find true love, be prepared first to love.

Tan, Seow Han. "True Love? Look no urther than friendship." The Straits Time, 14 October 2006, Review.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

We are bracing up for the future when we decide to put the past behind us. At times when we take great pain to do so, it is inevitable that, a part of you might not be willing to let go. We want to immerse ourselves in the sweet memories of our past, and wished that time had never existed. We can be drench in the reminiscences, but life goes on after all. We have to learn to get over it eventually.

One year ago, I have decided to put my feelings aside and put our past behind me. The day where we first knew each other, the times we enjoyed at our workplace, the joy and fun we had when we are out, the memories we had together. I had resigned myself to stop thinking about them. We seldom talk in MSN, and had drifted apart since. He had stepped out of my life, completely.

However, he started hooking up to me in Facebook recently. A person who had once stepped out of my life appeared in my life again. I felt as though we were brought back to the past.

As I looked back, I could not help smiling to myself. During his seventeenth birthday back then, I bought him a wallet. That was my first gift to him. On his subsequent birthdays, I still make the effort to shop for his birthday gifts, even though we did not have the time to meet up. Till now, his gifts (birthday presents, souvenirs) are still intact with me. I struggled with myself before making up my mind to keep it each time I tidied my room.

It had been two fateful years in the twinge of an eye.

Jun Wen, are you even reading this post?

Saturday, March 14, 2009

A tribute to my late grandmother...

My maternal grandparents used to take care of my sister and I when we were infants, until we were in upper primary. My sister and I studied in a school that is just near our grandparents’ house in Bishan. After school every day, we would return to our grandparents’ place and do our homework. They cooked, played and have fun with us. When my parents came back from work in the evening, we would have dinner together. We go back home when night turns in. The next day, it is a routine again.

After that, when my grandfather passed away in 1998, my grandmother took on the role of a grandfather as well and continued to take care of us. It was not only in 2002 that she became ill and was bedridden. Gradually, she lost the ability to speak. It became the responsibility of my uncle and aunt to take care of her, since they lived with my grandmother. My sister and I continued our secondary education in a neighbourhood school in SengKang, a stone’s throw away from our house. As such, visits to our grandmother’s place were rare, and the familiarity with grandmother was somewhat awkward when we pay a quick visit to her during family functions. (Mother’s Day, birthday parties, and the list goes on.) We felt distant towards grandmother. Grandmother looked more lethargic and less radiant ever since she was bedridden. Looking at her, we felt helpless. Besides showing more care and concern, there is nothing much we could do by alleviating the ache and discomfort that bedbound brings about.

For seven long years, grandmother had been lying in bed. She spent most of her time sleeping, throughout day and night. It must have been tough and mundane for her, I suppose. A sense of guilt would overwhelm me at times, when I come to terms that I failed my duty as a granddaughter – staying by her side to talk to her, to help her move her limbs, to take care of her (maybe). Anyway, grandmother was admitted to the hospital last month. She had contracted Pneumonia, lung infection in simple terms. Doctors have diagnosed her illness as a critical and pessimistic case. It depends greatly on her will to battle this war and return home with a victory. During that period, members of the family went to and fro the hospital. We tried our best to let grandmother know that, yes, we are there for her, and that we will never give up on her, no matter what happens. My heart goes out to grandmother when I see that her hands were being pricked with needles, her nose were inserted with tubes. I could not bear the sight of it. Not to mention about the pain grandmother had felt, we, the onlookers felt the pinch as much as grandmother does. All of us were concerned about her condition.

And then, I woke up one fateful morning to learn about the bad news. Our greatest fear had been confirmed. Our dearest, beloved mother/grandmother left us at 7.17am on 4 March 2009 at the age of 85. My heart nearly stopped beating. I was wondering if I was still dreaming. Reality finally sets in when my mother assured me of the news. I felt a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I did not get to see my grandmother in time before she left. Only my uncle did, in fact. Everyone was busy setting off to school and to work.

We then started to make preparations for the funeral. Due to some issues, we extended the funeral to seven days, instead of five for normal Chinese traditions. Conducts of behaviour were observed during the ceremony. (E.g. No wearing of any jewellery or watch, no watching of television, white top and dark (black/blue) bottoms must be worn at all times). Everyone abide by the rules obediently. We were almost worn out from the sleep-late-and-wake-up-early routine every day. Still, we hang in till the last day of the funeral.

On the seventh day, the nun came and we went through some formal procedure before we send grandmother off for the last time. We reached Mandai Crematorium and Columbarium at 9.30am. The nun repeats the chanting ceremony as we pay our respects to grandmother. All of us were welled up in tears, as we send our last regards to our late mother/grandmother. She was cremated at 9.45am.

In the afternoon, we went to collect grandmother’s ashes and headed straight to some place where we placed her remains there (together with my late grandfather). We prayed and went through the chanting ritual again. We manage to reach home in the evening.

Although grandmother had left us, she will always be our best and loving grandmother. The remembrances that she had left behind will always be locked in our hearts.

亲爱的外婆，你永远活在我们的心中.

Friday, February 27, 2009

08S2 has finally come to an end. All of us will be going to our respective specialization next semester. Some may feel upset to part with their classmates whom share a close bond with one another while some may feel liberated, joyful to be able to unchain themselves from their freaking classmates.

Sharon is proud to admit that, yes; she is one of those whom have been looking forward to the change of class in the third year of studies. She is finally freed from her abhorrent classmates! No more devious and underhanded people, no more facing sulky and sullen faces, no more being a translucent figure any longer!

As much as how hate fills her heart, Sharon feels grateful to some angels whom have offered help to her during this period of time. Therefore, I would like to extend my heartfelt thanks to the following people for being so kind and helpful.

1) Mr. Toh Tien Loong – The only one whom I look up and respect to in the entire class.
2) Mr. Andrew Huang Jun Hui – The one who is fair and square to everyone.
3) Mr. Lim Chow Shin – The one who used to be my "son". Always helpful and entertaining.
4) Mr. Low Shi Rong – The expert whom would offer to teach me whenever I am in doubt.
5) Mr. Tan Boon Yang – The friendly one, whom would come to chat with me oftenly in class.
6) Miss Sng Sing Nee – The one whom I did labs session with. Ferocious and brutal she may seem, her kind nature has never stopped her from lending a helping hand to others.

In a nutshell, Sharon is liberated! XD

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Sharon is currently away on study break. She will not be updating this blog until the end of examinations.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING! :D

Friday, January 23, 2009

If there’s an award presentation, I would present the Best Companion Award (BCA) to the following people:

Mr. Dwayne Lee Ming Tang and Mr. Rohan R Raghu Lal

In school, they were my best lecture mates. After school, they were my best friends. They coloured my world when it came crushing down. They brought me joy and laughter when I am down. They spurred me on when I am on the verge of giving up. They gave me a new lease of life. They are my emotional support. They healed my wounds. They teased and made me laugh. Most importantly, I feel a sense of belonging being with them. How more grateful can I be?

Though the three of us may split up to our respective specialization next semester, I will always look back to the days where we had so much fun, enjoyed ourselves so much.

Thank you for everything, my dear pals. <3

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

亲爱的朋友，想对你说三个感谢:

第一个谢谢你，让我走入你的生活，做你的朋友，或许我不是你最精彩的，但是我总是尽力做到最好。

第二个感谢你，愿意走进我的生活，扮演朋友的角色，或许你不是唯一的，但却是我生命中精彩的部分。

第三个感谢你，这一路走来，有你很多的包容，安慰，关心，支持与鼓励。

所有的深刻都在你给我的回忆里...

A new year is nigh and I am gasping for it to begin. Year 2008 was somewhat a roller-coaster ride for me. However, my year of wonders had taught me to let go of the irreversible past and anticipate a vivid future.

I was pleased that I had actually given myself another go at life then. Without my emotional resilience, I would not have done it. Besides, I managed to stand up on my feet once again owing to my good friends. They spurred me on, find time to go out with me amid their busy schedules. They tried their best to change my world which was in debris. They offered advices, laughed and cried with me. Though they did their best to replete the emptiness in me, I jolly well knew that I am the only remedy to my own wounds. Eventually, with their never-say-die attitude, I decided to start my life afresh. To date, I have myself freed from hatred, grief and refusal with regard to that hurdle. Looking back, I felt so proud of myself. I have never thought I would have overcome it. This rich lesson had indeed profited me.

As this year comes to a closure, I would like to thank all of my friends who stood by me during my difficult times. I sincerely hope 2009 will be a smooth sailing year for me, and all of you. May each day of the new year be filled with happiness, success, prosperity for all of us. =)

Happy New Year!